In my last post, I stated a 4-4 vote in a Supreme Court with only 8 justices, the ayes have it but no constitutional precedent would be set. This is the way it was reported on CNN when the news first broke of Scalia’s passing. The correct remedy is the rulings of the local court would stand. Supreme Court decisions can be reversed so if the case does not involve a law in conflict with the Constitution or a person being denied one of more of his or her Constitutional rights, the case can be taken up again when a ninth justice is confirmed; by President Obama or by the next president.
Thought I would take a break from mainstream politics for now. Less than a month to the Iowa Caucuses and New Hampshire Primaries, it is time to say “let the games begin” and may the best man win. But here is something totally apolitical that may interest you or get a good laugh.
There is a popular theory that seagulls are homosexual by nature. The sexual behavior of seagulls is discussed in a book by Bruce Bagemihl entitled Biological Exuberance. The only problem with that theory is seagulls are not an endangered species and there would be no way for them to make new seagulls if this were the case. And unlike humans, seagulls do not make decisions on such matters, birds do things purely instinctively. Since there are plenty of seagulls hanging out on the beaches of the world year after year, in the [worst] case, they are bisexual.
It is also a well-known fact that seagulls are monogamous—they mate for life with the same opposite sex seagull. I believe it works like this. During the mating season (approximately a month or so), the male seagull [humps] the female’s brains out until she lays seagull eggs. Then he takes off for eleven months of “boys night out” and return next year to the same female for another round of [mating]; he would know his mate from her scent (scent of a woman).
Now should [human] women “ease up” and not condemn “boys night out”? Should marriage counselors revise how the advise their clients and tell a woman the key to a happy marriage is be together for a short time, do your own thing, and meet same time next year? Not so fast. This does not verify every seagull is happily married—that every seagull is one-hundred percent satisfied with his (or her) mate. There are no seagull divorce courts so it’s not like they have that as an option. And birds not incarcerated have never been observed to break one-hundred eighty degrees from instinct. The most happily married humans are not happy one-hundred percent of the time and every human being on the planet has to do things they don’t want to do sometimes. So I cannot suggest troubled married couples take advice from seagulls at this time.
Another thing to note is the sex ratio among birds. With mammals, e.g. humans, females outnumber males by just under two to one because a mammal has to be conceived within a limited temperature range—too cold or too hot and you get a female by default. It is the opposite in birds; the females have to be conceived within a critical temperature range or you get a male by default. It is closer to three to one in the case of seagulls. So on a beach in on a cold winter day, when you see male seagulls cuddled up with each other, they are not necessarily engaging in irregular [improper] behavior—they just need to keep warm to survive and there aren’t enough females for every male. This would imply that female seagulls may be “sluts” with multiple male [partners]. Not because they have whore-like instincts, but the ratio of males to females gives them no choice.
This also does not mean conservative-thinking [humans] are wrong to condemn same sex marriage. Seagulls do not mate with a same sex seagull. Humans are the one species that has the intelligence to make decisions and if a majority chose homosexuality, the human race would terminate. In Ernest Hemmingway’s In Our Time, there is one vignette that digresses from the story of Nick Adams and talks about Mr. and Mrs. Elliot. Mr. and Mrs. Elliot tried to have a baby but couldn’t because Mr. Elliot was gay. While Hemmingway had no opinions on this matter expressed in any of his literature, there is an implication that the edict marriage is between an man and a woman is correct, politically or otherwise and that homosexuals should still play the field and choose a heterosexual mate, attempt to make a child to ensure our species continues, and beyond that we should not tell them how to live—at their own risk that they may engage in behavior condemned by The Bible and be smitten; or forgiven according to protocol within their own religion. Mr. and Mrs. Elliot lived a seagull lifestyle; take it with a grain of salt, they are fictional characters.
So the next time you are on a beach and you observe seagulls, you will probably want to talk politics with them. They would probably rather talk about pollution and climate change than their sexual habits but one thing they are is predictable. And as long as they can mate, there will be plenty of them on our beaches and ocean fronts.
I spent some time in Paris, France in the summer of 1977. I saw it in all its beauty and splendor that makes it a favored tourist destination. I studied junior high school French and after eighth grade graduation, selected classmates got to take this trip.
I was fourteen years old with my fifteenth birthday taking place in the City of Lights. Thirty-nine years ago was the last time I saw Paris. At one time, I longed to go back there although it never worked out. Now if I had the chance I would probably pass. Not going back is the only way I can preserve the memories of Paris in 1977. It is not the same place; just turn on the news.
The last time I saw Paris
Her heart was warm and gay
I heard the laughter of her heart
In every street cafe
The last time I saw Paris
Her trees were dressed for spring
And lovers walked beneath those trees
And birds found songs to sing
I dodged the same old taxicabs
That I had dodged for years
The chorus of the squeaky horns
Was music to my ears
Oh, the last time I saw Paris
Her heart was warm and gay
No matter how they changed her
I’ll remember her ah that way.
Here’s to you, Paris, France, and the fond memories you have given me
It makes no difference wherever you roam
You can go far or stay right here at home
Turkey and mistletoe, snowflakes and toys;
For Christmas is Christmas all over the world.
For all you young children, young at heart, and parents of young children who look forward to full stockings and well-wrapped boxes under the tree, I have the answer to an age old question about Santa’s journey that has been asked for years. Old standards on vinyl, CD, I-Pod, or even Pandora, Sirius-XM, or those music stations cable TV providers offer play Christmas songs like Jolly Old St. Nicholas. There is an implication that Santa visits every home at the stroke of Midnight. Children age, and the demand for scientific proof increases; generally a positive thing, but a side-effect is it dampens Christmas spirit and become more reality junkies and less dreamers. Can Santa Clause visit every home at exactly midnight? The answer is YES.
The twenty-four time zones on planet Earth were arbitrarily created by man for convenience and standardization purposes. Truth be told, every meridian is a time zone in itself. New York City and Boston are both on the Eastern Time Zone of the United States, yet the sun does set approximately seventeen minutes earlier in Boston and on Jewish holidays, Boston Jews must light their Sabbath candles seventeen minutes earlier than New Yorkers of the persuasion. Santa delivers his parcels to homes by using the chimney as an entry and exit point. Every chimney on planet Earth resides on a different meridian and Santa comes down your chimney at the stroke of midnight with respect to the juxtaposition of your chimney. Santa is from the North Pole if you build a clock powered by the movement of the Earth, it moves faster the closer you are to the equator and on the North Pole, it doesn’t move at all since all meridians of the world converge at the polar cap. The clock in the dashboard on that big red sleigh he drives is a Relative Meridian Time (RTM) clock and it is programmed to detect when midnight arrives at each meridian where a chimney is present. Works better than any GPS system ever invented or sold commercially and from centuries of experience, his reindeer are in tune with it the same way the old milk horses of the bygone era knew exactly where to stop.
Yes, boys and girls; Santa will arrive at exactly 12:00 AM RTM in synch with the meridian of which your house’s chimney resides. And Santa is always on time; we adults can’t say that about Amtrak or our commuter railroad; now can we? So be in bed on time on Christmas Eve. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake. He knows when midnight strikes the meridian of your chimney and he expects you to plan accordingly.
On this twenty-seventh day in November of twenty-hundred and fourteen, we give thanks. Thankful for a groaning board and thinking of those who are hungry. Thankful for family and thinking of those from broken homes and those whose family has passed on. And thankful for a free country and thinking of those living under tyranny. My cousin in Michigan and my sister’s friend in Monroe, each raising two children in twenty-first century America, my thoughts and prayers are that they will have the same freedoms we twentieth century children had. As Reagan said:
Freedom is never more than one generation away from
extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the
bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected,
and handed down for them to do the same, or
one day, we will spend our sunset years telling our
children and our children’s children what it once was
like in the United States where [men] were free
It’s the VETERAN, not the preacher,
who has given us freedom or religion.
It’s the VETERAN, not the reporter,
who has given us freedom of the press.
It’s the VETERAN, not the poet,
who has given us freedom of speech.
It’s the VETERAN, not the campus organizer,
who has given us freedom to assemble.
It’s the VETERAN, not the lawyer,
who has given us the right to a fair trial.
It’s the VETERAN, not the politician,
who has given us the right to vote.
It’s the VETERAN,
who salutes the flag,
who serves under the flag,
ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD,
AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE ON THEM.